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I have to admit and the novels I write reinforce it … I prefer dark-haired men. Yes, their hair may be a sandy shade or salt and pepper but no blonde or red-haired heroes for me.

Maybe this bias is genetic. After all, the men in my immediate family have all had dark hair. My dad’s hair was dark and remained dark well into his eighties. My two brothers had dark hair. My natural hair color, after all, was very dark brown. While dating, I realize that I only dated dark-haired men. I married a man who had salt and pepper hair. Maybe it’s also because of all the vintage movies I used to watch as a teen. I drooled over Cary Grant, Charles Boyer, Rosanno Brazzi, Rock Hudson, Christopher Plummer and other dark haired hotties. By the way, I loved Robert Redford and his sandy hair. Even now, Richard Gere still makes my heart flutter.

In my first novel, “Paradise Found,” my hero Daemon Wells has sandy hair. In “Lab Test,” Dan O’Brien has dark brown, almost black hair. In my latest release, “Hearts of Steel, “Quade Owen has dark hair. My future releases also feature heroes with dark hair. It seems that I can’t help myself!

When I read novels, I tend to select books whose cover features a dark-haired hero. No blonde men. Please, no red-haired men, especially men in kilts (that’s another bias of mine that I won’t address here).  When I select movies, the male lead cannot be blonde or red-haired.

Maybe it’s crazy but as a writer I can create the attributes of my heroes. After all, how many women can put their imaginations and fantasies into a novel? This is part of the fun of being a romance novelist.

Okay, I’m putting the question out there? What is your favorite type of hero? Do you have a preferred hair color and why? It would be interesting to know if others have my strange bias?

Having a book published is a major milestone in life. After years of struggle, of pouring out your heart and soul, of overcoming rejection, your “baby” is born! Break open the champagne. Spread the news. Scream with unbridled joy.

Then … reality sets in.

The world didn’t move. Your picture is not plastered on the front page of the newspaper. Your book is not on the New York Time’s Bestseller List. You are not rolling in money. So much for the glamorous life.

Welcome to the real world of the newly published.

Yes, your book is for sale on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and more. You have wonderful reviews and multiple “likes.” You’re a guest on many blogs. You’ve distributed post cards and inundated the social media. Obscurity, though, still exists.

Your publisher is well-established and has done a formidable job. The artwork on your book cover is outstanding. The content of your novel is above-average. You ask yourself what you’re doing wring. Nothing.

The fact is that you are a new name in the vast world of publishing. With the advent of electronic publishing and self-publishing (no, they are not synonymous), thousands of books are out there for the reading.  There are so many choices for the reader.

You’re a guppy in an ocean.

After your book is published, the real work begins. Trying to create a “buzz” and word-of-mouth promotion takes time and more effort than realized. You spend as much time, or more, marketing the book than writing it.

On top of it all, you’re a writer and have to write. The next book beckons and the next and the next. It is a continuous process. Another gets published and the circus begins again.

Welcome to the real world of the author!

When I tell people that I’m a romance writer, I get a myriad of responses. The eyebrows usually shoot up, I get a once-over and a snicker. It’s the same sort of response I get when I tell people that I’m also a Middle Eastern belly dancer.

I’m an anomaly. In my youth I was painfully shy, quiet and nerdy. I was more brainiac than sexpot. Somehow, through the years I morphed. Yes, a leopard’s spots can be changed. Maybe that’s why my favorite color is “animal print.” Anyway, that’s another story.

I’ve been writing my entire life and grew up reading all of the fairy tales and believe in “happily ever after.” Though I’m a feminist who believes that women are equal to men (in some ways superior), I believe that life is like a cake. The cake is great alone but the frosting, men, make it a lot more interesting and sweet. That’s why I prefer stories with endings full of promise.

Romance and women’s fiction novels offer hope. In this stress-filled, fast-paced, self-centered society, I’d rather escape to a happier place. These novels offer the vacation without the plane ticket. I’ve been snubbed for not writing “literature.” Literature, to me, is angst-filled drama, tense, dark and foreboding. It wins awards. Women’s fiction brings happiness and commercial fiction makes money.

When I write romance, I feel like Barbara Cartland, the grande dame of the genre. She, in her flowing gowns, perfectly coiffed hair and make-up, lounging on her settee with her fluffy lap dog. I get to experience another world. It’s the same when I transform into “Nailah,” my beaded and bangled, sensuous, exotic belly dancer alter ego.

I want my readers to escape and transform while they read just as I watch my students change when they dance. Through novels and dance, women are taught female empowerment, independence and how sharing one’s life with another is a choice and not a requirement.

When people asked what I did, I used to cringe in response. I now hold my head up high and smile with confidence and raised self-esteem. I’m a romance writer and Middle Eastern dancer. I’m proud of who I am and what I do.

One of my favorite aphorisms is, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

It’s not too late to transform.

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